How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Relationships. Some people love being in them, some people hate it and would rather live a life of independence. Some want a long-term partner, whilst others are looking for casual flings. And that's okay! Because a relationship is what you make it. But let's be honest here, they're kinda hard, right?

A healthy relationship takes work. Just think about it, you'll be spending the majority of your time with this person, putting in your full trust, growing together, and it sounds like this beautiful movie when in reality it can turn to shambles.

It is a usual occurrence for people to break up, take breaks, separate, and although it is entirely normal do so, do you ever wonder how you can stop this from happening? Everyone deserves to be happy and I truly believe that there is someone for everybody. Now, I am no relationship guru, but I am willing to share my experience to guide others. Right now I am in a pretty strong and happy relationship and even when we bicker from time to time our relationship is still solid because of how we work as a team to keep it healthy.

So, if you're having trouble keeping someone in your lives, or having doubts, then check out these little tips from me.

Sometimes fighting makes you stronger

This sounds a little weird. Why fight? Surely that'll tear us apart? Let me tell you that it is completely normal. Have you never fought with your own mother? Or with your siblings? Yet through all that you still love them, right? So what's the difference with your partner? Personally, when I ever argue or bicker with my boyfriend we would always sit down and talk it out after cooling off. By doing this we are learning from our mistakes and learning how to overcome the issues we were facing. Half of the time it amuses us to realise how silly and petty the argument was in the first place. Of course, if this is an every hour of every day arguing kind of scenario then that's a different story, but bickering from time to time doesn't mean you're not a match. That shouldn't put you off a relationship.

It's okay to spend time apart

Yes, you're a couple, but you're not shackled by the ankles. I've always believed that being to clingy and spending an endless amount of time together can be unhealthy. Having that time apart gives both of you the freedom you need to carry on being yourselves, to be able to hang out with just your friends. I'm pretty sure constantly having to be around the same person 24/7 will drive you crazy. I work, so that gives me time to be away, and my boyfriend often goes to his friends' house just because. And I want him to! Because he isn't my property, he is my partner.

Small gestures go a long way

Try little gestures that make your relationship unique. In my relationship we always take out one day a month to eat out at a nice restaurant and that is special because is our day. Yeah, we live together and see each other at home but it's something about planning a special night that makes it great.

Listen

Listening is so important. Anyone can have a conversation but to really listen to another is such a great way to keep a healthy relationship. You need to be able to trust your partner with anything and not feel alone when with them.

Talk

You're feeling insecure about your relationship? You're having doubts? You don't think you're good enough? You don't feel like you're being treated good enough? Well then my advice to you is to talk. If you don't talk then you're going to convince yourself that you're in a lousy relationship or you can do better, when the person who you really need is right in front of you. If you're in a fresh new relationship then this might be a scary step, I completely understand, but if you're in a long-term relationship and don't communicate then that is something that needs to be changed. Trust me when I say that communication is the source to growth, and if you want a healthy relationship then you should grow as one together.

I hope this advice from an amateur relationship coach could act as some guidance to anyone struggling in a relationship. I'm always here to help! :)

~Ella